Details.

This may be the most detailed post I’ve written in a long time. So, if it’s too much, I apologize. It may be a bit of a word-vomit moment.

It’s always kind of embarrassing to go back and read my previous posts. The one thing I notice more than anything? Any time I really start to delve into more emotional topics, I become the Queen of vague-ness. I guess I always edit down to the bare minimum because I feel like the less there is to read, the more people will want to read it. And usually, the topics that are more emotional, are emotional to me for a very specific reason—and I automatically assume I’m the only one that will be interested in them!

See, that’s what working in an industry that downplays text and copy will do to you!

I want to be a nurse. I am going to become a nurse. I start school in less than two weeks, and I’m over-the-moon and terrified at the same time.

There. I said it. Why is that so hard to say out loud?

I have never felt such purpose when it comes to school, career, or what I want to do with my life. I have my Bachelor’s in English and Technical Communications—and I’ve been in the field for six years now, but from day one, I knew it wouldn’t be forever.

The feeling I have about a career in Nursing is so much different. I started having moments of panic in the middle of the night about my current career about four years ago. I knew things were going to have to change at some point. But, dammit, why isn’t it ever convenient to make a ginormous career-change? Especially when you’re barely out of school … yeah … like most of us, I didn’t make the perfect decisions in college for the right reasons. I made decisions that were going to get me out of college, with a degree, followed by a job. Checklist complete.

{Insert the need to “embrace the suck.”}

I had glimmers of wanting a career in nursing way back when Taylor {now almost 8!} was born. The whole experience of the NICU and the stress and craziness surrounding her welcome into this world changed me to the core—and the nurses took care of us as much as her. They made sure my baby girl came home. They calmed our nerves. Helped us find our way as parents. And they, along with the entire staff at Sacred Heart Medical Center saved my baby's life. They took care of her when she wasn't strong enough to be home. But, it wasn’t my time to get things rolling yet. Being a new mommy, I had some serious growing up to do. 

A couple years later, my Dad was diagnosed with ALL, followed by chemo, radiation, stem cell transplant—the whole nine yards. Those glimmers lit a flamin' fire in me. What those nurses did for everyone in my family—it was so inspiring. There's no way to explain it. But, I know how grateful my Dad and Mom were in those moments. They were there every minute of every day—helping him live. It's a selfless job-but one that I can't imagine not being rewarding. But again, as driven as I was, it just wasn’t feasible at that point. 

Then, along came Brennan, and that want kept nagging at me. I spent nights playing out ways we could make it work. Trying to discount what I wanted to do because there was no easy way to do it. And now, we have baby Barrett in the mix, too. And it’s happening. Somehow. Some way. We are making it work. School starts in less than two weeks. No matter how long it takes. It’s not how long it takes to get there. {Although, let's hope for my family's sake that it's not TOO many years down the road.} It’s that I GET THERE. This is what I’m supposed to be doing. I can feel it.

It’s going to be hard. But I have years of motivation and want driving me. And when those feel like not enough … I have three amazing kids and the best husband in the world to remind me. I have a Dad that's still here and stronger than ever {no matter how he sees it in his own eyes}, and a Mom that's been through everything with him and is an inspiration by her own right, a sister going into the medical field because she's inspired, too. Another Mom, Dad, and Brother that are eternally supportive. And another sister that let me in the room during my beautifully hysterical niece's birth—hammering the final nail in my coffin as a Technical Writer. What can I say, I'm so lucky to have the people I do in my life. Finally, it's time to make it happen!