wednesday. baked acorn squash.

somewhere around 30 acorn squash currently reside on my garden floor. at least half of them, ready to be picked. who knew six little tiny plants would turn into such craziness ...

with that, i present, the greatest recipe for squash ... EVER. Also, the easiest! (thank you ree drummond, aka the pioneer woman)!
ingredients.

2 whole acorn squash
kosher salt
1-2 T butter
2-3 T brown sugar
pure maple syrup

how to.

1. preheat oven to 400.
2. halve each squash, then scrape out the seeds and stringy icky stuff. place the halves, flesh side up, on a baking sheet and sprinkle each half with salt.
3. add a generous tablespoon of butter to the center of each squash followed by 2 to 3 heaping tablespoons of brown sugar. drizzle squash with maple syrup. um, i've started drooling by this point.
   
4. pour 2 cups water in the bottom of the baking pan.
5. cover with aluminum foil and bake for 30 minutes. remove foil and bake an additional 30-45 minutes, or until squash is golden brown.
6. in the last 5 minutes of baking, turn on the broiler and allow tops to get a little more brown and the butter/sugar mixture to bubble.

my kids detest squash ... and they each ate half when i made this. although, i can't quite bring myself to qualify this as 'vegetable,' it makes an awesome dessert!

friday. blah.

I don't understand the taboo subject of ... miscarriage. it's like on the lion king when the hyenas hear the word 'mufasa' and start shaking in their furry boots. it's like people see it as being awkward for them ... and therefore, make the person actually dealing with the pain, suffer even more by making them feel isolated and alone.

i'm lucky enough to have a few people in my life who, awkward topic or not, are extremely supportive. but, the overall consensus is that it's just not something we're supposed to talk about. and i'm not good with that. it gives me knots in my stomach, and makes me want to yell in the faces of those people that just because you don't know what to say, doesn't mean you don't say anything! just a, 'hey, i heard about what happened. i'm really sorry, how are you?' does wonders! or even a, 'if you need to talk, let me know.' odds are, the conversation will take itself from there. at least then the person feels like you're there for them.

this is still all very new to me. almost a month now. and most of the time, i'm really ok. i have two beautiful children i adore, and a husband that's the most supportive person i've ever met. and i've not given up on a third baby by any means. i'm working on moving on. and, as i said, most days are just fine.

BUT, i'm allowed to have my days. days where i feel robbed. robbed of a life that was supposed to be part of my family. a life to give my babies a little brother or sister. and there's nothing fair about it. right now, i'm supposed to be enjoying pregnancy, worrying about getting the b-monster potty trained before the upcoming due date, and arguing with my husband about baby names. and instead, i have gut wrenching heartache and sadness for the loss of that life ... no matter how small that life might have been.

i don't care who you are. whether your pregancy is planned, unplanned, wanted, unwanted ... it doesn't matter. the minute that test is positive, a bond has started between you and that life. and to go from planning your life around that to having it just ... gone. it's awful, and so very sad.

on another note, just because i miscarried, doesn't mean i'm not happy for pregnant friends and family. i don't sit around with voodoo dolls wishing bad things. and yet, it's another topic that gets avoided, causing even further isolation from EVERYONE. it doesn't help. for example ... just because your grandma died, doesn't mean you don't ever want to talk about grandmas again ... it will make you think of her, yes. but isn't that part of the grieving process? 'hush-hushing' when the person walks in the room because you're talking about babies = BAD idea. not to mention, it's just tacky. if the person isn't comfortable, they will:

a) say something.
b) leave.

ugh. obviously not the best day in the world. at least i can go have a drink after work, right?

thursday. the cove.

the husband and i watch a ton of documentaries. i guess that's what happens when you only get channel 2 on tv and the instant queue on netflix runs amuck.

most of what we watch is decent ... we try to keep our viewings to things rated at LEAST three stars ... we do have standards, you know!

the cove, however, yup ... FIVE stars! and totally worth watching. and not just because it's about dolphins ... which it is. but, really, it's about so much more than that. i wouldn't even begin to call myself an environmentalist, but that doesn't mean i don't care about the environment and what goes on within it. and there are some things that are just. plain. wrong.

here's the synopsis:

'academy award winner for best documentary of 2009, THE COVE follows an elite team of activists, filmmakers and freedivers as they embark on a covert mission to penetrate a remote and hidden cove in Taiji, Japan, shining a light on a dark and deadly secret. utilizing state-of-the-art techniques, including hidden microphones and cameras in fake rocks, the team uncovers how this small seaside village serves as a horrifying microcosm of massive ecological crimes happening worldwide. the result is a provocative mix of investigative journalism, eco-adventure and arresting imagery, adding up to an unforgettable story that has inspired audiences worldwide to action.'

i'm guessing most people, like myself, had no idea that this kind of thing existed. you won't regret watching it. if you don't believe me, just watch the promo video on the website.

wednesday. someday.

upon my little girl having a raging fever the last two days, i got to spend some quality time just her and i ... without the monster. she started feeling a smidge better yesterday afternoon, so we took a quick trip to the library down the street.

so, i made a quick trip to the knitting section and grabbed a bunch of 'how-to' books ... i'm determined to make a go of it! and we wandered to the kid's section, taylor grabbed a stack, we checked out and read on the couch for a few hours. h-e-a-v-e-n!

by far, my favorite book from t's loot was someday, by eileen spinelli ...

i ask taylor (6 yrs.) what she wants to be when she grows up, and inevitably, every time, her answer is, 'a writer.'

why, i ask? 'you get to tell stories.' sometimes it's hard for kids to think past tomorrow, or the next five minutes! and this book is brilliant in promoting the imagination and doing just that.

someday opens up a whole new world when it comes to thinking about the future. she turns mundane everyday stuff into whimsical, elaborate, lovely ideas about what she wants to be when she grows up.

plus, the illustrations are inspiring me to buy some new fabric!

p.s. it makes me want to start over and pick a new career for myself! ... maybe an astronaut? although, i think i'd settle for full-time apron-seamstress/business owner.

tuesday. the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society.

i don't know how i haven't managed to post about this book yet. i think i'm going loopy. i spent the last two months thinking that you all had been enlightened and had this book shared with you. a thousand apologies. but, so you know, i blame, ummm ... hmmmm ...

soooo, anyway ... a co-worker handed me this book and told me i'd love it. she's usually right, and this time was no exception. as a side note, apparently it's a well-known fact that i gravitate towards the following things:

• food.
• books.
• books about books.
• small towns by the sea.
• stories about incessantly independent, yet lovable women who meet collectively to discuss things they love.
• stories about lovely women that seem to effortlessly weave old school tradition into their modern lives.

inherently, the guernsey literary and potato peel society includes all of the above. naturally, i didn't want it to end. (see previous post for the next closest thing i could find that was similar.)
but, i digress ... it's funny, interesting, warm and fuzzy, wrapped up all fresh and new. i read it months ago, and i'm still sad it's over.

loves it!

monday. the beach street knitting society and yarn club.

dear blog,

i miss your face.

i know, i know. it's been forever. but, now that i'm caught up on the harvesting, canning, and storing of the massive garden this year, i have a little more time for you. i promise. it was a stressful, complicated month, and now it's over ... or ten days from being over, which is over enough in my little head!

i found a new-ish book. and so far, it's lovely. i've been missing summer already, and extremely hesitant to get into the fall swing of things. don't get me wrong, fall in spokane is just about as perfect as it gets. it's my favorite season ... even if it only usually lasts two weeks-ish. BUT, this year ... ohhhh, this year ... summer was elusive and ninja-like, what with her not starting until the middle of JULY. and i'm not ready to let her go yet!


the beach street knitting society and yarn club is quick and cozy, and it'll make you wish it was raining and your house was clean so you could sit in front of your fireplace (or if you're like me, you'll sit and hope to get through a page before one of the kids decides that you are not allowed to sit for five minutes quietly ... all while imagining you had a fireplace) and read it from beginning to end in one sitting. it will also make you want to drink tea, open a wool shop, and start using 'bugger' as your new favorite swear word. it sounds a lot nicer than some of the ones that usually come out, does it not?

best part? there's a second book! needles and pearls. totally indulgent fiction. it's not for everyone, all the time. but it certainly is for me, some of the time!

totally makes me want to learn how to knit something other than an endlessly long scarf. like amazingly adorable and totally functional arm-warmers! i feel a project coming on ... i guess i better get on that whole "learning to knit something other than a scarf" thing.